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9 Lessons I Learned About Raising Kids While Building Businesses From Home
Building businesses from home while raising kids is ...challenging
Heads up. This post is written for entrepreneurs who are parents or who are thinking about having kids, apologies if that’s not you, feel free to skip — we’ll catch you next week in our newsletter here.
Before diving in, I should share my situation with you: I have three kids — ages 4, 2, and 1 — a beautiful wife of 11 years — I work from home — I helped start Hopin almost five years ago, where I still work full-time — I also operate a media publication and a mobile app on the side; I wrote a novel and I published two courses. My wife is a nurse but is on hiatus while taking care of the kids at home. She is a champion.
If you’re an entrepreneur, founder, or a person with lots of ambitions and if you’re wondering what effect kids will have on your life, this is for you.
Before diving in, I have to call out that if you’re a female founder, add multipliers to each of the following points because your job comes with far greater challenges than male founders will ever understand.
1/ Everything slows down.
The following calculation helps capture the reality of this, but in a non-exact way: What took you X amount of time before, now takes X * N number of kids you have. For example: if it usually takes you a day to build a landing page and you have 3 kids, it will now take you 3 days.
2/ You do fewer things.
You learn to focus ruthlessly and prioritize relentlessly. Often, you’re forced to either cut your list down to move faster or move your full list along but more slowly. This results in many EODs feeling like you got nothing done.
3/ You waste less time.
Because you know your time is more scarce. So when you do get time, you make sure you use it very efficiently.
4/ You end up working on problems when you're not working.
If you struggle with “being present,” this is why. When you’re changing diapers, driving kids around, cleaning the kitchen, you can’t be at your computer, but you can be thinking about a problem. So when you do sit down at your computer, it just pours out of you.
5/ You get better at tracking.
You end up making lots of notes, calendar blocks, voice memos, short calls, and reminders on the go. Any way you can capture thoughts and save ideas for when you get time to work. Personally, I have 2,901 notes on my phone right now…
6/ You begin to compare yourself to people who don't have kids.
You start to think: They are so much more productive. If only they knew how lucky they are. Don’t let yourself think this way. It will embitter you, not so much against other people, but against your kids. Instead, remember that your family is the best longterm investment you can make. Time will tell. Read The Second Mountain by David Brooks. It helped me with this.